Sans titre (Posts tagged humor)

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Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Defining Dickhead

cockblock (vulgar, slang) verb: to impede the romantic or sexual advances of a person (usually a man) towards another cockblockhead (vulgar, slang) noun: a person (usually a man) who unintentionally cockblocks themselves see also entries for: self-sabotage, absolute idiocy, Harry James Potter
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Sweets For My Sweet

In a world where scent doesn’t really play that much of a role except sometimes between mated pairs, a lot of people tend to base their assumptions of who’s what secondary gender by their body shape and behaviour. Omegas are seen as small and delicate, while alphas are bigger and more stereotypically masculine, with betas falling somewhere in between. Thus, everybody (or almost everybody) thinks that Gabriel is the omega in his and Dean’s relationship. And while it’s true that he does on occasion like taking it rather than giving it in bed, he has a knot to rival the tallest, most macho alpha around, and his and Dean’s… exploratory sex life often leaves them in situations where it’s really fucking difficult to hide who’s got the bigger hard-on in their pants versus who’s leaking slick into theirs. Even so, it’s only when Dean gets pregnant that most people realise that the guy they thought was textbook alpha is the exact opposite behind closed doors.
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Reigning Champ

If there’s one thing every Slytherin loves, it’s a good game. Too Hot was played at every party Slytherin House had hosted for years, and Draco had won every round since the first time he played. Pride in his title as Champion was to be expected. Stating it like a challenge in front of the returning Eighth-Year Gryffindors? Not Draco’s brightest move, to be sure. Combine the challenge with mistletoe, feminine wiles and secret plots, Ron Weasley’s temper, and an unexpected connection with a Dragonologist and Draco’s Christmas just got a whole lot more complicated!
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That’s The Way The Cookie Crumbles

For example, one of them read: “Old people can’t drive very well.” If that wasn’t a universal truth, Draco didn’t know what was. Even if he had only the vaguest ideas of what ‘driving’ meant. He had already decided on rewriting it into: “Age is sometimes a boon, sometimes a hindrance.” That would come off pretty good. Unfortunately, he had no idea what to make out of lines such as “Penguins are pretty”.
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